I thought I would start the night of this New Moon off with a post. When I designed this website, I spent so much time on it night after night, that I just needed to step away for awhile. I communicate quite a bit via my social media channels Instagram @stacieflorer and @soultosubstance, as well as cross-post to my Facebook page StacieFlorerMetalsmith. I haven’t written in long form consistently for years!
This is going to be a re-introduction and random bits about what I’ve been doing and up to. And I mean random!
I want to write more here. I have been in deep introspection and observance mode for a few years now. I thought I was going to walk away from making jewelry, and explored some areas that interested me to see if I wanted to go further with them. But I just couldn’t get metalworking out of my system. It’s such a part of the way that I process what is going on inside of me and how I work through what I learn in an abstract way. This is just how I am wired.
I have spent the last 3.5 years deep in my experimentation with something called Human Design. It’s a system that I am using to unravel myself from who I always thought I was and discovering what is consistent about my how I interact with others and what I am here to express. I am in the LONG process of throwing out some old beliefs about myself, and replacing them with first-hand knowledge. And I’m not going to sugar-coat this..it’s been hella-hard.
I’m slowly shifting from an “I believe’ worldview to a “I know or don’t know” worldview. it’s difficult to challenge your beliefs and to see them for what they are, and to understand how much power a belief has over you. Many of the beliefs I have held on tightly to are just not true, but me ‘believing’ them caused a lot of pain and suffering. If you think challenging your beliefs are hard, wait until you start thinking that even having beliefs is not the way to go. That’s what I’ve been pondering, and I found a video online this morning where the Sadhguru says in a beautiful way what I’ve been contemplating for a while now.
High points of this video…
- I’m Alive
- My important people are still Alive
- Practice being Aware once an hour
- What do I know? I’m mortal.
- Do the Best Things..Nothing other than that because I could be dead in the morning.
- Brief life if joyful…Long life if you are miserable.
- Do what matters and quit doing bullshit things that don’t matter.
- How alive am I? Aim for 100%.
- If you want to torture someone, you don’t kill them…you keep them 1/2 alive.
- What do I know about Self-Torture?
- Aim for being a fully-fledged human.
- Experience comes from within and is reflected outward.
- Awareness is the essential ingredient of the life.
So in June, I decided to leave my home studio and move it to downtown Roanoke. I found an amazing place that was very affordable, and it has the most beautiful natural light. There really is something quite special in having a place of your own. All decisions are mine…I arrange my creative environment to suit me. I love it.
And it has lit a fire under me in regard to my creativity. I like to work alone. In my Human Design chart, I carry and energy called The Creative-Self Expression. It is about creation as a primal force. It’s the prime mover in our system of reality and very YANG. Yang is an ancient Asian philosophy describing the energy of the active male principle. It is penetrating energy, and my particular bent with this energy has to do with aloneness as the medium of my ability to create. I have to show up though…in an environment that I love. Even if I don’t have a creative idea in my body…if I show up, something happens. Magic.
I am not really alone…I am in communication with that inner portion of me that takes information in, and then I try to put it together into some sort of a deeper understanding about living…about being aware. My work right now is following two tracks. One is articulation. My jewelry moves… and I am purposely chasing after a sculptural quality with my designs. It is hard for me to communicate with words what I am trying to express in metal. Or maybe its the other way around…perhaps I need to express myself in metal before I can get to the words. I don’t know yet…but what I do know is that my work reflects themes and patterns in in my life.
The other track has to do with impressions.
The botanical impressions I know come from my intense study of my yard at home. And my total passion of anything Jane Austen related. English cottage gardens…insects and birds. The natural world is a subject that I spend a lot of time contemplating. The lessons…the beauty…and the self-expression of each form of life.
My impressions in the form of Native American metal stampings have something to do with exploring my own DNA heritage (Cherokee) and bringing forward older ways of doing things from a tribal perspective. Tribal energy is also a big deal in my Human Design Chart as it relates to caring for others young and old, defining my core values and what i want to ‘pass on’ to those in my environment and in my care, as well as connecting with others via my life-force energy. Tribal energy is all about protection, taking care of others, passing on knowledge and wisdom from life’s experiences and fertility in deals and bonds made and broken. It’s a very close energy…and for those of you that know me personally, you can probably attest to my nurturing ways with you.
Another facet of my work that is emerging in form is the way that we are conditioned by others and our culture. This idea of being totally receptive to the ‘others’ that imprint us with what they know fascinates me. Also, as I journeyed through my own menopause, I have noticed that for large amounts of time, I don’t seem to think about anything at all. There is a lot of emptiness within that I’ve never experienced before. It’s a not-knowing and an active way of just being in receptive mode. I’m waiting for whatever shows up. Often, I don’t feel compelled to fill myself up with bullshit to distract myself. I am finding myself content to just ‘be’. It’s weird..I don’t know if I am explaining that in a way that you can relate to or not. I think it may have something to do with not swimming in hormones anymore, but I just don’t know. I remember what I need to, when my environment changes and it becomes necessary to remember; and I don’t think about stuff or worry over things as much anymore. If it isn’t essential for me to deal with in the moment, I have developed an amazing capacity for not even thinking about it until I have to. And I TRUST it.
Here’s an example about how I am exploring these themes via my work…
I am swimming a few times a week and loving it! I turned 51 in October and had a great birthday…I think my 50’s are going to be wonderful! I became a Certified Human Design Guide a few months ago, and am working with some amazing people as they go on their own journey into self-awareness. What a gift to be able to be a part of someone’s own journey…truly humbled by it. Sadie has Cushings and Diabetes but we are managing her condition quite nicely. I decided to stick with Etsy right now for my shop because of the recent changes they have implemented. We’ll see how that goes. I love my house, and we are getting gas logs in a few weeks, just in time for winter. We will also have natural gas grill right outside on our screened in porch! Squeal! And I am getting my front yard worked on by a professional landscaper to take care of some drainage issues those lovely floods highlighted this year. Nothing serious, but never neglect your drainage!
Blessings on your journey…you DESERVE your journey!