Sorry, Not Sorry

Sorry, Not Sorry

(I Ching, Abundance 55)

I was in the co-op yesterday getting some bulk items, and there was a young mother at the herb station talking to her small child. I overheard her say, “You don’t have to say you are sorry for that, that isn’t the right way to use that phrase.”

I was struck with the present moment awareness and connection that this young woman had with her daughter.

A couple of years ago, I was in the library studying my Human Design information when I heard a woman sneeze a few times while she was working in the coffee shop portion of the library.

Every time she sneezed, she would say, “I’m sorry.”.

I felt my body tense up and I became angry.

Why was she apologizing for her sneezing? It’s a bodily function that is uncontrollable. It’s called being human.

I’m sorry?

No…as women, we do not need to be sorry for breathing, sneezing and generally taking our rightful place here on earth.

After I left the library that day, I went to the grocery to grab some things for the weekend.

I was in the liquor section of the store, staring at the big selection of beer trying to figure out where Shayne’s Session IPA was hiding.

A woman walked in front of me while I was staring at the beer wall and she said, “I’m sorry.”

My stomach lurched.

As she continued to walk down the aisle, she stopped, and turned around and said,

“Why did I say I’m sorry? I should have just said ‘excuse me’.”

I nodded.

“Yes, that was all that would have been required, if that…”

And she turned around and continued on her way.

Yesterday, I walked up to the young mother and thanked her for allowing me to witness her teaching moment to her baby daughter.

She replied, “My grandmother taught me that…she taught me to know when to say “I’m sorry,” and when not to. So many women unconsciously apologize for their existence, you know?”

Yes, I know.

And she went on to say that her generation is interested in freedom. Real freedom.

They want to rid themselves of the shackles that victimization ensures to keep those with a ‘sorry’ attitude enslaved.

Often, when I meet someone, I listen to what they say.

I mean, REALLY listen to the words they use.

Do they complain a lot? Do they cast themselves as the perpetual victim of life?

Do they blame others or things for their lot in life?

Do they say “I’m sorry,” all of the time? Do they say it to move on and not examine what it even is that they are sorry for?

When I meet someone like this, I understand I’m dealing with a prisoner. They are imprisoned and most of the time, they don’t even know they are locked up.

That young mother yesterday understood on a very deep level that casting yourself as the perpetual victim is the pathway to your own personal prison.

Watch how many times you reach for “I’m sorry,” today when it isn’t called for.

Become aware of it…contemplate it.

What are you sorry for? Why are you so sorry?

When you identify as a victim…well, that’s the only movie you get to watch.

Yuck.

This simple understanding can radically change your life.

Say I’m Sorry when you have hurt someone, or in empathy with them over a loss of some sort.

If you hurt someone, either knowingly or unknowingly, change your behavior if its warranted; sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t.

Know the difference.

But don’t say I’m Sorry when you are merely taking up the space required to live your life.

Or you want to gloss over a disagreement where true change needs to happen, and you just want things to feel ok again.

I’m Sorry, and your use of it,  is a key to finding your personal freedom and walking towards an abundant and joyful life.

Blessings…

Becoming Full-Fledged

Becoming Full-Fledged

When I was five, we lived in a modest, 1970’s neighborhood and our next door neighbor was a magician. I believed in magic at five, and when I saw him pull a bird out of hat, I was convinced he could turn me into a bird.

One afternoon, he promised the neighborhood kids a casual magic show, and I remember waiting for hours for him to emerge from his front door. There was a chain-link fence separating our yards, and like a prisoner hanging on to the bars that separates ‘us from them’, I patiently waited for my shot at flying freedom.

As I was sitting on the ground, I remember thinking about being able to fly, and what that would really mean. Once I was turned into a bird, I planned on taking flight around the neighborhood, and imagined what my little world looked like from that higher perspective.

Then the thoughts of flying further crept in…and the possibility of flying out of range of my neighborhood and leaving my family.

Perhaps for good.

I pondered on this…and remember deciding it would be worth leaving to see and experience the freedom of unfettered flight.

He finally emerged from his front door, and by this time, there was quite the crowd of kids milling about the yard.

I walked over, sat down on his lawn and waited for the right time to ask him to please turn me into a bird.

In about a minute, I felt my anticipation climb to the highest peak known to me at that time only to have it come crashing down to earth when he told me his brand of magic didn’t include turning cute five-year-old girls into birds.

I was crushed.

Looking back, I realize that this moment in my life was the beginning of my spiritual search for freedom.

I took the freedom of flight literally as all children do as they begin to accumulate their beliefs about our world.

But flight is available to all of us, in a very real way.

My work as a jewelry designer and Human Design Guide are intimately connected.

I am in the process of becoming a full-fledged human being.

That is the significance of the two birds I use in my branding of Soul to Substance and Stacie Florer Jewelry.

In what context does full-fledged mean to me?

It is about becoming a fully developed person by integrating your survival instincts, ability to reason and conceptualize and to feel what it means to live YOUR life.

Everyone’s path to flight is unique. As a Human Design Guide, I help you discover what it is that is weighing you down and not allowing for lift-off.

As a jewelry designer, I work with metal to embody the dance of light and dark through my use of patina, and to celebrate and explore the long process it takes to become full-fledged as an artist, and as a human being  exploring the concept of creativity and self-expression.

Birds are incredible teachers. They have been my spiritual companions in so many ways over the course of my 51 years.

And that’s why I’ve included them in how I connect with others via my calling as an artist and guide.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving…

Blessings,

Stacie

 

 

 

 

 

Bring Your Beauty To The World

Bring Your Beauty To The World

My friend, Terah Cox, of Heaven and Earthworks, penned a beautiful tag line for my jewelry packaging. I am so happy with what she gifted me in a simple, succinct way to describe what my intention is for those that wear my jewelry, as well as those that I work with as a Human Design Guide.

Bring your beauty to the world, and the world will be more beautiful.

Beauty is the highest frequency of the energy of Creativity, or the first Hexagram of the Chinese I Ching – Ch’ien/The Creative.

I carry this energy in my Personality Mercury and it is what I am tasked with communicating to others from a Human Design perspective. Upon reflection, I know this to be true for myself. Even before I was consciously aware of my purpose of communication, I knew it in my bones.

I’ve written before about people expressing to me, “That I don’ t have a creative bone in my body…” often accompanied with a nervous, self-deprecating laugh. But the frequency I often hear when I am told this, is one tinged with fear, regret and sadness. I know the mask people use to cover their faces when they say this…and it always breaks my heart.

Each of us is creative because we are alive. We create our lives using experiences, beliefs and decisions like a painter uses a canvas, brushes and paint. And if more people understood their divine right to the Creative principle, our world would be more beautiful.

Ch’ien is masculine in nature…it is Yang energy. Ch’ien is the light of the sun that acts upon the earth. It is expansive energy in comparison to Yin, or the feminine principle of receptivity/receding energy. We must, as a culture, stop trying to make these two energies into a competition. They are both necessary. They are, literally, night and day.

As human beings, we are constantly pivoting back and forth between these two poles of energy. In the language of electricity, Yang is positive and Yin is negative. We live with the tension of the two..one turning to the other. One pushes as the other pulls.  I watched a leaf fall yesterday, and depending on your point of view on the process, the tree letting go of the leaf was yang, the leaf falling to the ground turned from Yang to Yin when the ground received it. This constant movement from Yang to Yin is change. Change is life.

In very simple terms, we live in cycles of Yin and Yang. We breathe…we make love…we wake up and go to bed. We count time by these cycles…and they range from milliseconds to millenniums.

Beauty is unity with all that is. Beauty is our birthright. Be-at-unity.

Another word that comes to mind regarding beauty is naturalness.

You know when you are in the presence of someone that according to the idealized cultural idea of beautiful isn’t, but when you are in their presence they are the most beautiful of beings?

These are the people that are embodying their most natural self in their highest expression.

I am so drawn to photos of very old men and women that I find so beautiful because they are naturally themselves. They have achieved unity in all of their parts. They have merged with themselves with total acceptance and awe of their own uniqueness. They carry an energy or frequency that is difficult to capture with words.

They are themselves, and are consciously aware of their unity with all that is. I use patina in my work exclusively as I chase the feelings of unity with one’s environment. This merging…becoming one visually is part of my creative impulse.

Perhaps you can see what I mean here..this feeling of unity when it shows up is captivating to me and is beautiful.

Photo by Riya Kumari from Pexels

In my work as a Human Design Guide, for myself as well as for others, I am focusing on the beginning of this process of unification and merging into the totality. One first has to wake up to the possibility that it is possible to do in this lifetime. But then one must also realize that there is a period of shattering of the illusion that must happen before the parts can merge and become one.

I am in the process personally of whittling away what I’ve accumulated (beliefs and marketing) over time that covers up my naturalness. I want to first isolate what is me, drop what isn’t, then become the totality of my expression as a human being. I am in the process of unification, but it has a certain timing and structure. I know where I am in my own journey, and making jewelry for 15 years has taught me that there are steps that must be taken. Patience is the paint I use in my life to create my own work of art that is my life.

That is the most important part of my own creative process…acting when the time is right, and resting in receptivity trusting that what is without form will eventually emerge from me when the time is right.

Creativity cannot be controlled…it is not a process that can be crammed into an 8 hour day with prescribed lunch breaks and such…It’s there…and then it isn’t. This is the process and timing that must be respected for something fresh to occur.

It is cyclic and I don’t get to control the cycles. None of us do…when you realize that, you can relax in the not doing, or receptive (YIN) portion of the cycle. I believe our culture does a great disservice to many naturally creative people by conditioning them to not embrace their melancholic nature of inaction before action is required. It can feel depressive. It feels like the thrill of action won’t be there, but it will. As long as you wait until its time for it to emerge.

I work alone. I respect my creative process. I carry the energy of the 1.4, which is Aloneness as the medium of creativity. This information is found in the Rave I Ching, in The Definitive Guide of Human Design-The Science of Differentiation by Lynda Bunnell and Ra Uru Hu. 

Beauty has many, many layers of meaning and understanding depending on where you are in your own awakening process.

But this is what I know now…your naturalness is your birthright.  Your naturalness, your synthesis is beautiful.

When you know who you are, and what you are not, that natural you begins to emerge and that is what the world needs.

It needs you to step into yourself.

You are the note that the world needs to hear.

Blessings…

Soul and Substance

Soul and Substance

Hello there!

I thought I would start the night of this New Moon off with a post. When I designed this website, I spent so much time on it night after night, that I just needed to step away for awhile. I communicate quite a bit via my social media channels Instagram @stacieflorer and @soultosubstance, as well as cross-post to my Facebook page StacieFlorerMetalsmith. I haven’t written in long form consistently for years!

This is going to be a re-introduction and random bits about what I’ve been doing and up to. And I mean random!

I want to write more here. I have been in deep introspection and observance mode for a few years now.  I thought I was going to walk away from making jewelry, and explored some areas that interested me to see if I wanted to go further with them. But I just couldn’t get metalworking out of my system. It’s such a part of the way that I process what is going on inside of me and how I work through what I learn in an abstract way. This is just how I am wired.

soul stuff

I have spent the last 3.5 years deep in my experimentation with something called Human Design. It’s a system that I am using to unravel myself from who I always thought I was and discovering what is consistent about my how I interact with others and what I am here to express.  I am in the LONG process of throwing out some old beliefs about myself, and replacing them with first-hand knowledge. And I’m not going to sugar-coat this..it’s been hella-hard.

I’m slowly shifting from an “I believe’ worldview to a “I know or don’t know” worldview. it’s difficult to challenge your beliefs and to see them for what they are, and to understand how much power a belief has over you. Many of the beliefs I have held on tightly to are just not true, but me ‘believing’ them caused a lot of pain and suffering.  If you think challenging your beliefs are hard, wait until you start thinking that even having beliefs is not the way to go. That’s what I’ve been pondering, and I found a video online this morning where the Sadhguru says in a beautiful way what I’ve been contemplating for a while now.

High points of this video…

  1. I’m Alive
  2. My important people are still Alive
  3. Practice being Aware once an hour
  4. What do I know? I’m mortal.
  5. Do the Best Things..Nothing other than that because I could be dead in the morning.
  6. Brief life if joyful…Long life if you are miserable.
  7. Do what matters and quit doing bullshit things that don’t matter.
  8. How alive am I? Aim for 100%.
  9. If you want to torture someone, you don’t kill them…you keep them 1/2 alive.
  10. What do I know about Self-Torture?
  11. Aim for being a fully-fledged human.
  12. Experience comes from within and is reflected outward.
  13. Awareness is the essential ingredient of the life.

Substance Stuff

So in June, I decided to leave my home studio and move it to downtown Roanoke. I found an amazing place that was very affordable, and it has the most beautiful natural light. There really is something quite special in having a place of your own. All decisions are mine…I arrange my creative environment to suit me. I love it.

And it has lit a fire under me in regard to my creativity. I like to work alone. In my Human Design chart, I carry and energy called The Creative-Self Expression. It is about creation as a primal force. It’s the prime mover in our system of reality and very YANG. Yang is an ancient Asian philosophy describing the energy of the active male principle. It is penetrating energy, and my particular bent with this energy has to do with aloneness as the medium of my ability to create. I have to show up though…in an environment that I love. Even if I don’t have a creative idea in my body…if I show up, something happens. Magic.

I am not really alone…I am in communication with that inner portion of me that takes information in, and then I try to put it together into some sort of a deeper understanding about living…about being aware. My work right now is following two tracks. One is articulation. My jewelry moves… and I am purposely chasing after a sculptural quality with my designs. It is hard for me to communicate with words what I am trying to express in metal. Or maybe its the other way around…perhaps I need to express myself in metal before I can get to the words. I don’t know yet…but what I do know is that my work reflects themes and patterns in in my life.

The other track has to do with impressions.

The botanical impressions I know come from my intense study of my yard at home. And my total passion of anything Jane Austen related. English cottage gardens…insects and birds. The natural world is a subject that I spend a lot of time contemplating. The lessons…the beauty…and the self-expression of each form of life.

My impressions in the form of Native American metal stampings have something to do with exploring my own DNA heritage (Cherokee) and bringing forward older ways of doing things from a tribal perspective. Tribal energy is also a big deal in my Human Design Chart as it relates to caring for others young and old, defining my core values and what i want to ‘pass on’ to those in my environment and in my care, as well as connecting with others via my life-force energy. Tribal energy is all about protection, taking care of others, passing on knowledge and wisdom from life’s experiences and fertility in deals and bonds made and broken. It’s a very close energy…and for those of you that know me personally, you can probably attest to my nurturing ways with you.

Another facet of my work that is emerging in form is the way that we are conditioned by others and our culture. This idea of being totally receptive to the ‘others’ that imprint us with what they know fascinates me. Also, as I journeyed through my own menopause, I have noticed that for large amounts of time, I don’t seem to think about anything at all. There is a lot of emptiness within that I’ve never experienced before. It’s a not-knowing and an active way of just being in receptive mode. I’m waiting for whatever shows up. Often, I don’t feel compelled to fill myself up with bullshit to distract myself. I am finding myself content to just ‘be’. It’s weird..I don’t know if I am explaining that in a way that you can relate to or not. I think it may have something to do with not swimming in hormones anymore, but I just don’t know. I remember what I need to, when my environment changes and it becomes necessary to remember; and I don’t think about stuff or worry over things as much anymore. If it isn’t essential for me to deal with in the moment, I have developed an amazing capacity for not even thinking about it until I have to. And I TRUST it.

Here’s an example about how I am exploring these themes via my work…

Personal Stuff

I am swimming a few times a week and loving it! I turned 51 in October and had a great birthday…I think my 50’s are going to be wonderful! I became a Certified Human Design Guide a few months ago, and am working with some amazing people as they go on their own journey into self-awareness. What a gift to be able to be a part of someone’s own journey…truly humbled by it. Sadie has Cushings and Diabetes but we are managing her condition quite nicely. I decided to stick with Etsy right now for my shop because of the recent changes they have implemented. We’ll see how that goes. I love my house, and we are getting gas logs in a few weeks, just in time for winter. We will also have natural gas grill right outside on our screened in porch! Squeal! And I am getting my front yard worked on by a professional landscaper to take care of some drainage issues those lovely floods highlighted this year. Nothing serious, but never neglect your drainage!

Blessings on your journey…you DESERVE your journey!

Re-imagining My Life

Re-imagining My Life

Soul to Substance with Stacie Florer is now live!

Finally, after 10 years…I have figured out how to combine my love of self-expression by making jewelry (my substance) with my passion of connecting with people on a Soul level..

I have spent the last few years studying about and becoming a certified Human Design Guide.

A few weeks ago I attended my last class for my certification, and began working on this website to reflect the direction my life is moving towards.

I also moved my studio out of my house, and found an amazing little space in downtown Roanoke to work out of! And…I joined the local YMCA and every afternoon I walk across the street and swim for an hour.

The story about the true-me that I have worked hard to uncover from the not-me facade is beginning to emerge in a very physical way.

I needed an outlet for my creativity as well as a means to get some exercise in a form that I love.

And it all came about in an organic way by following my strategy of staying in response to life. I’ll write about that later this week.

I feel so much better on so many levels…and my life has the differentiation and structure that is correct for me.

I am about to dash off to my studio, but this morning I wanted to check in and get this new website up and running. I will be fiddling with it as I move forward, and showing up here to write more about my work as a Guide and Artist.

But for now…hello again…

And thank you for the love and support so many of you have expressed via my instagram feed while I’ve processed and changed over the last couple of years.

XO!