Dancing Buds, Sterling Silver Earrings by Stacie Florer 2017
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Elizabeth Appell
As I look out my window, I see OLD trees starting to form buds in anticipation of longer, sun-lit days and warmer weather.
It occurred to me that those trees, at least most of them, have been around longer than I have; yet, they still produce buds every year, with the promise of blossoming.
It isn’t about endurance. I believe its more about trust. Trusting in the wisdom of the seasons, and that just because one year passes, doesn’t mean that the season to blossom is permanently over.
Our culture perpetuates this myth that blossoming is only for the young. But nature insists that blossoming happens when the right environmental conditions are met, regardless of age.
Ahh…isn’t that wonderful to contemplate? Just a little turn of the mind…a bit of noticing about the reality that just IS when we slow down enough to really notice our lives and our place in the natural process of living.
I have a scraggly lavender plant that I have been trying to keep alive inside my home while winter gives way to spring. The environmental conditions are absolutely terrible for it…no sun as my house is rather dark; no wind to strengthen her so I lightly stroke her leaves whenever I pass by on my way out the door. I can give her warmth; I can pretend there is wind, but I can’t possibly replicate the natural environment she needs to thrive and grow.
I am just giving her enough to stay alive, but her potential is on hold. The way she looks reminds me of how I feel when my environment is not allowing me to thrive.
Do you know what your particular environment must be to bud, unfurl and lean towards the light?
Forming your root system
For this stage in my life, I knew a few years ago that I needed a stable, physical place to form my foundation. After living on the wind, a home was now necessary for me to put down a root system. I was ready to land.
For many, many years, I lived like the annual. I had a shallow root system, and most of my energy was being put into seeding those I came into contact with new ideas that were potentially mutative for them.
While I was ‘on the move’, I befriended so many that were in places of transition. Energetically, this pattern of acquiring experiences with people that were undergoing tremendous change kept repeating itself. I noticed it, and took note.
Our friendships bloomed so quickly…a great sudden burst of energy! I loved it! But either I would move or they would move..and the great thrust of pent up energy was gone again.
For the time, it was correct for me to live like that.
But when it was time for me to change my environment, I felt it in a very deep way. I couldn’t seem to replenish myself for the energy needed to keep producing those seeds from shallow roots. Instinctively, I knew it was time to work on my own root system.
Over the last year or so, I have used my energy in a much different way. It is so much slower than before!
I met a few people my first year..mostly those in my neighborhood. Close to my rooting system…I didn’t venture out that far from where I was most needed energetically. Although many of my friends and family did visit us…and that was quite novel!
As those people in my life that have been so important to me while I was on the wind traveled through, I watched where they wanted to congregate for communion in my home.
In those areas, I have developed the environment to help support conversations and closeness. I am using gorgeous crystals from my home state of Arkansas to help amplify those areas energetically as well as choosing paint colors to promote warmth, security and safety.
Where they sleep while here, I have lovingly attended to developing a cozy place for them to rest and recover.
My jewelry studio environmentally needs some help..I have noticed that I haven’t quite tweaked it to where it will support my deep rooted desires creatively..but that will continue to develop slowly before it is ready to bloom.
And I’m ok with the longer timeframe. I am struggling with getting rid of the shallow rooted way of thinking about my work environment!
What does your physical environment reflect back to you regarding your own root system? Is it shallow like the annual, or deep like the perennial? Or somewhere in-between like the biannual?
All three of these root systems have a purpose…but what happens when your particular root system no longer works for you and you stop thriving?
Your nights probably become shorter (sleep issues anyone?) and the desire for a new environment starts to really take hold (daydreaming replaces night-dreaming).
As to the flip side of this notion, I have observed friends that have very deep root systems, but they are no longer able to form new buds and bloom. The old ideas of themselves are dying within; and its time for them to put their energy into forming new life seeds and reproducing their essence elsewhere.
Sometimes, a deeply rooted being provides much shade for those around them, and those people aren’t interested in stepping into their own light at the expense of losing the shade that you may provide. That can be a very difficult transition to make.
There is a time for many where it is now correct for them to take to the wind and see where they land to start anew. Shallow rooted plants often produce the most gorgeous, life-infused blooms!
I know what it is to ride the wind…to live with a heart-quickened existence. Possessions are light, keys are few on the keychain and total immersion in experiences is vital as great amounts of energy are collected to produce something new.
Shallow or deep, or somewhere in between, all of them are necessary to us as we continue to evolve and grow.
But blooming requires so many things…and none of them are dependent upon the age we are! Our roots just have to support our intentions, and our environment must nourish and support our ideals…and then the buds will set, and we will be in a place to unfurl.
Simple, but not easy!
That my mother ended up with these earrings is no accident…I believe I have been designing jewelry that would appeal to her for the last 12 years.
When I was a little kid, I knew one way to my mother’s heart was via archeology and anything old. The patina of a thing was like candy to her…and it rubbed off on me.
I remember one Christmas when I was about five years old and excited to ‘make’ my mother’s gift. I couldn’t buy anything…so handmade was a necessity growing up.
I found some pictures of Holly Hobby in a magazine, and cut them out. I pasted them on some blocks of wood that I found in the garage. I then tried to ‘patina’ my creations with ink, dirt and some strange variation of other ingredients readily available to a five year old on a mission that included saran wrap, too. I am sure it was horribly executed, but there was a feeling that I was trying for that I am pretty sure I’ve been exploring my entire creative life.
These earrings were challenging. I had to solder the brass bar on to the top of a disc that I had distorted with sandpaper and my chasing hammer. But I loved the end result and must say that these were my personal favorites of the year.
My mother came up to visit this summer and as soon as she saw them, I knew they were hers. They look fantastic with her striking gray hair and they fall elegantly down her neck. She tells me she always gets comments on them when she wears them, and that makes me happy–as she has also shared with me that as she has gotten older, that she feels like she disappears when in groups of people.
I know that feeling of disappearing…I’ve heard so many mature women remark upon the fact that they often feel invisible when socializing, and maybe that is why bright colors and striking jewelry become more important as the years add up.
I am currently in the process of growing out the hair color on my own tresses and embracing the silver…this upcoming year I turn 50. I have no interest in looking like someone in her 30’s or even 40’s…I just want to look like me. The me that I am now…without having to cover things up or fuss over what is…
50 comes with a certain patina that I have earned by living well…and I’m excited about this next stage in my life.
That, along with something purple and red, and a kick ass pair of long earrings should do the trick…hope you have a great New Year!
Active waiting…how often does this show up in your life?
As a butterfly waits for its wings, while in the chrysalis stage, it is in an active stage of waiting. Or a pregnant mama, as she readies her environment for the arrival of her baby, she enters into a state of active waiting.
Waiting isn’t necessarily ‘doing nothing’. For things to transition from one state to another requires active waiting, and it can be a difficult rhythm to adjust to, especially from a creative point of view.
Our culture tells us to ‘get out there and make something happen’, but this often leads to stress and frustration if the timing isn’t right.
I have a Dogwood tree in my backyard. This fall, the tree produced loads of beautiful, red berries. I watched the birds flitting to and fro on the branches, but they never touched those luscious looking red berries. They appeared ripe to me…but I admit I don’t know much about Dogwood berries…
Then one day, I looked outside and heard a bunch of birds chattering. I mean, it was loud enough for me to respond to it with a quick walk to the window. My full tree of red berries was being devoured by a group of Robins. In an hour, they had stripped that tree of all those berries.
How did they know that TODAY was the day to eat those berries? What impulse did they follow that led them to decide Today is the Day the Dogwood Berries Get Eaten in their little birdie brains?
I figure it has something to do with recognizing that TODAY those berries were at their optimum nutritional capacity for the birds to convert to flying energy. Animals are so attuned to their environment, to the ‘tells’ of when to use energy for action, or when to conserve it.
Nature is all about the right timing. Animals have a built in time-keeper that alerts them to the right time to eat, sleep, mate and reproduce themselves. We have the same time-keeper within us, when we slow down and stop ‘doing’ things that we compulsively do because we are not aware of the right timing of action for ourselves.
I was talking to a friend the other day about their habit of offering unsolicited advice and the frustration and anger they feel when ‘no one listens to me’ enters into their mind.
In my life, I am beginning to recognize and understand about the right timing to give wisdom and knowledge away to another so that it can offer the most help in moving that information along the human chain of understanding.
It’s really simple…the right timing is when someone ASKS you for it.
When they ask, the framework of a mutually satisfying exchange of information has been built, and that energy of that particular flavor of information is in its optimal state to be ‘digested’ by the one that receives it.
Maybe the Dogwood tree sends out some sort of ‘Eat my berries’ signal out into its environment when its ready for its berry seeds to be ‘deposited’ further afield by those flocks of fast moving birds. I don’t know exactly what the mechanism is…but I sure enjoyed watching the effects of it this fall.
I see so much online in the creative community about taking flight, getting your wings and so forth…but remember that it takes time to grow those wings, too.
And nothing fosters disappointment more than trying to fly with unfurled wings.
How did I start to recognize my particular tells when it comes to right timing?
I started with understanding the concept of trust first, and what I trust, and what I don’t.
I discovered that I had a belief about NOT trusting in life that had to be worked on in depth. It took about a year of active waiting to start cultivating this level of trust. I had to start with faith first…and life taught me to trust it. This last year has been an amazing incubation period for me as a result.
Then I moved towards understanding where in my life impatience and compulsive action-taking seems to show up the most.
I also started asking myself what are the usual results when I ‘jump the gun’ in whatever area I have the most frustration and anger around.
I started there…and discovered that when I try and force something to fit into my contrived schedule, I experienced the most frustration.
Our immediate environment is always communicating to us about right timing. If you are cooking and forget to set the timer for a batch of cookies, your nose will tell you when to take them out of the oven. Usually, the first whiff of cookie goodness you get is a tell that the timing is forthcoming to take them out of the oven, right?
Or when I’m hungry…I am starting to only eat when I am in response to what my body wants. Sometimes I don’t want to eat until 10pm! Normally, one would be conditioned to think that this is a terrible time to eat…but why fight what my body is telling me it needs? I experimented with this a few months ago, and I felt great. When I started eating again around the prescribed ‘breakfast, lunch and dinner times”, I started having digestive issues again.
As I was writing this, my dog, Sadie, started jumping on my leg, letting me know it’s her time to go pee. So, I stopped and responded to her own right timing. As it is especially cold outside right now, I didn’t have to wait for her to smell around stuff for 10 minutes before she finds just the right place to scent mark. We were in out and in in mere minutes! And while I was out there, life showed me again to trust it, because it gave me an idea about how to edit this post.
So, for me, this idea of right timing is about cultivating trust in life itself. Its about deciding to go with the flow, as my mother-in-law says, instead of forcing the flow.
There is a divine sense of inner peace and tranquility that occurs when I trust in life’s rhythms and ignore the often strong temptation to act with impulsivity and impatience.
I am part of life itself…and life has its own timing as far as where my energy is best spent.
But it requires active waiting…and patience, with a dose of will power to NOT act before its time.
“Beauty surrounds us, but usually we need to be walking in a garden to know it.” rumi
I had to move and interact with garden to know it.
When we bought this house, I stood in the backyard and just breathed deep. I felt like I hadn’t had a proper deep breath in decades. I told Shayne that this house was ours…I could breathe here. And over the last year, I have been rediscovering what it feels like to be in sync with my environment — to breathe deep every day, and to notice all the beauty and life that surrounds us.
I’ve entered a new phase in my professional and private life. I’m all about integration these days. It’s about living slow and deliberative. It’s about noticing and responding to the vast changes that occur minute by minute in this life.
I’m into cycles…and embracing them in their time.
My jewelry is about capturing the feelings and impressions of my life now…I want more pretty. I want more softness. When its time for hard edges, I will embrace them too…this winter there will be more hard edges but for now, I am relishing the soft lines and fuzzy features of my home yard. Of my private park..my sanctuary.
I made my debut appearance in Roanoke last weekend where I showcased this new phase of noticing and translating into wearable art jewelry. I had a great time, meeting lots of new people and noticing all of the beauty around me in the form of faces and smiles and laughter.
I have a lunch date tomorrow with a new friend, with more promises of get togethers and social activities for the future.
I have neighbors that I adore…I now have teenager friends that I attend their school functions and am excited to watch them grow in their own creative endeavors. It’s a wonderful new phase of my life…community. Belonging. Growing while rooted. It was time.
And its time for me to show back up here, too. I took a year off. It was needed and I am so appreciative to have been able to do it. To just be for a while. Not having an agenda. I struggled with it until I felt like ‘doing’ again…I’ve been immersed in my Human Design work over the last year and am looking forward to becoming more involved with this system of self-awareness moving forward.
Life is good…and sweet.
Below are some new earrings available in my shop for $85. These are one of a kind…I don’t have this design in any of my accounts! They measure 2 inches long and about 1/2 inch wide. I usually make the triple disc earrings without the spears of kyanite, but a few days ago, I had the idea to combine these two elements of my work.
I had a rough month…it looks like I have to have a hysterectomy in April. I am still in the investigative stage of this experience as well as just getting used to the idea. I will be home convalescing for about 6 weeks, and most likely won’t be doing much in the way of making jewelry.
I think for the next few weeks I will be making just what I want to make, all one of a kind pieces as I process through my upcoming surgery. As I make stuff, I will post it here and on my Instagram account too…
As far as everything else…I love my part-time job and the progress I am making in a completely different area of my life as it pertains to becoming a Human Design Analyst. I finished up my second series of pre-requisites for certification last week and will be taking my last pre-req class in September. Next year, I start my professional classes and am so excited about this new direction in my professional life.
I am curious to see what emerges creatively in the next few weeks as I drill down and explore emotionally what it means to have my womb removed. Today, I found a bird’s nest that had been abandoned due to the cold weather snap we have experienced here, and I put it over on my oak tree stump that I have converted into an outdoor fairy house. It occurred to me that birds must build their womb…and when the conditions are not right, they abandon it.
I guess the conditions are no longer right for me to retain my own womb. I am not sure how I feel about this on many levels. But I trust that it is all a part of the journey I am to take in this lifetime and that the deeper realizations and learnings will come in their own time.
Kyanite is considered by some to be a healing stone, and a stone that helps those that wear it find their voice. Seems like this pair of earrings is a good start to this next leg in my journey. I am hoping via my creative energy to discover my voice regarding this monumental change for my body.
Blessing to you…and thank you for reading.